


135 - RuPaul's Drag Race

by storiesaboutvan



Category: Catfish and the Bottlemen (Band)
Genre: F/M, Mini Fic, Reader-Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-13
Updated: 2019-01-13
Packaged: 2019-10-09 10:41:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17405423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/storiesaboutvan/pseuds/storiesaboutvan
Summary: Filling the prompt “as i write this i’m watching rupaul’s drag race and i’m just imagining what it’d be like watching it with van.”





	135 - RuPaul's Drag Race

"I would be shit on this show," Van said, eyes glued to the television screen. You watched him for a second as his gaze flicked from queen to queen.

"Do you think maybe that's because you're not a drag queen?" you asked him.

"Yeah, but, like, not good at craft am I? And can't even do my own mop, let alone make hair like that,"

You laughed. "But I think you'd look super pretty in makeup," you said. He looked at you and grinned.

You cuddled in next to Van, and he wrapped an arm around you, his thumb rubbing circles on your shoulder. You'd made him sit through every single season of RuPaul's Drag Race. Finally, season nine was out and the first episode was all about Gaga.

"Who's your favourite so far?" you asked him.

"Out of this lot, or all of them?" he replied. You loved that that implied he had an all-time favourite, and a per-season favourite.

"Both,"

"The best one ever is Pearl 'cause she's pretty, but also the guy is really funny and, like, easy goin’. I don't like any of these ones that much yet. The one with the crown is cool. Maybe the one that came in like a mouse, with the hips,"

"Nina Bonina Brown. Yeah. She's my favourite too."

You watched the rest of the episode in silence, apart from laughter when appropriate, and gasps where needed. You were disappointed when nobody was kicked off.

"Nah, that's good. Get to know them more before they go," Van said, sitting up and flicking through televisions stations looking for something else to watch.

"I like when they cry," you said quietly. He looked over his shoulder at you.

"Such a fuckin' weirdo, babe," he said. "That Valentina one…"

"Yeah. Really beautiful,"

"Really, really beautiful," Van repeated nodding. He definitely had a crush.

"If you were a Drag Queen, what would your name be?"

He sat back on the couch and looked at you, brushing hair from your face and tucking it behind your ear. "Ummmm… Van…essa Mc… something" He thought. 

"Vanessa! Holy fuck. Amazing. Okay… Mc… Gregor…"

"Aw, I do love Sir Ewan McGregor!" Van said with a happy sigh. "And all my costumes would just be like, drag versions of his characters,"

"I fucking love you so much," you laughed, leaning up to kiss him. "Can you make tea now?"

"Why me?" he asked back, again focused on the television. He'd found a football match, and it was probably old, and he'd probably seen it a million times. For a second you marvelled at the fact your boyfriend could switch between such wildly different interest; drag queens to soccer stars. "I'll rock paper scissors for it," he offered.

"No,"

"Do you want me to lip-sync, Y/N, for… not having to get up and make… tea!" he asked, his voice picking up at the end in an imitation of RuPaul that was beautiful. You laughed and threw a pillow at him.

"Yes! Can I pick a song?"

"Yeah, sure," he said. You went to the stereo and connected your phone. You flicked through tracks, looking for something that would both suit him, but be dramatic. You turned and looked at Van, who had moved to stand on the couch.

"You're not gonna work your way up to couch standing?" you asked, already amused. He shook his head, grinning. You pressed play, and the tambourine of Are You Gonna Be My Girl sounded out. Van's face lit up, and he was off. His hips started to shake in time with the music, and he clapped out the beat. He jumped off the couch on the scream, and sang along. "Van! You can't sing it! You're meant to lip-sync!" you yelled at him as he danced around the room.

"Nah, never faked it in my life, babe. 'Sides, Adore is a real singer, so…" he yelled back, then picked up the lyrics. How dare he use knowledge of drag queens against you like that? Van kicked off furniture and you laughed as he spun his head around like they do in the show. He couldn't do a death drop, and you were glad he didn't try, but he finished by sliding across the floorboards on his knees after a running start. He added your name into the song. "Y/N, are you gonna be my girl?" and he winked and it was awkward and more of a half scrunched up face expression. You’d never loved him more.

You clapped for him, and he stood up and took a bow. 

"Vanessa McGregor, you are safe. You do not have to sashay away to make tea." 

He laughed and leant in to kiss you.


End file.
